"Let's do videos. You're the face of the company; your brand is what we should be using to grow." That's what they told me. Well, wonderful. But did anyone bother to check if I'm comfortable in front of that camera? I'm an introvert who thrives backstage, not in the spotlight. My eyes look anywhere but the lens—just like the image shared, a series of weird faces and looks that avoid the world.
Of course, I don't really have a choice. Who else is going to build the B2C side of the business if not the founder? I tried to suggest, "How about AI videos?" but we can't have AI talking about being more human, can we?
So they told me to wear bright clothes, plonked me on a couch, and we did take after take after take. It was a disaster. I stumbled, stuttered, repeated words, and went completely off script. I spoke in jargon that made sense to no one. The young camera guy even told me, "Next time, practice a little."
How do I explain to him that this camera-shy person likes the shadows? That unscripted, one-on-one conversations are okay, but this isn't that. I had stage fright my whole childhood. I avoided the camera for years because I was called fat. Who wants to be on camera in this world of skinny bitches?
Years of conditioning. Therapy has helped, sure, but it still doesn't make me comfortable enough to deliver video after video with five people staring at me. It's a performance I never wanted to give.
So, here I am, still without a solution and dreading round two. It feels like I'm stuck between what the business needs and what my soul needs. Have you ever felt this way, caught between who you are and who you're expected to be?